Valley Ranch Exclusive: Cowboys Year in Review

Valley Ranch Exclusive: Cowboys Year in Review


After allowing the season finale to digest, Jerry Jones decided that he needed to meet with Wade Phillips for his annual performance review. The Dallas Sports Keg was able to obtain an exclusive transcript of that conversation:

Jerry: Wade, I appreciate you meeting with me here in Valley Ranch. I apologize for interrupting your off-season slow-walk training, but I felt that we needed to discuss what went wrong this year.

Wade: Well, you said that something went wrong, I never said that. That's what you said.

Jerry: I consider getting beaten by 38 in the final game of the season as an indication that "something went wrong."

Wade: Sure the Eagles beat us on the scoreboard, but we won the 4th quarter 3-0 and we had more passing yards than they did. So if you really think about it, we won two out of three!

Jerry: What about Roy Williams? I traded for another 1st round player to provide this offense with an explosive option opposite TO and you didn't do anything with him. What the hell, Wade?

Wade: Well Jerry, that's kind of a funny story. You see, we already had one Roy Williams on the team...but he is a safety, not a wide-receiver. We didn't realize it until we reviewed the tapes last week, but apparently Jason [Garrett] and I had accidentally added the defensive Roy Williams to our offensive packages instead of the really tall one.

Jerry: That's just unacceptable. And let's discuss these "changes" that you have vowed to make. What types of changes will you be implementing?

Wade: I have heard several people say that you can't teach an old dog new tricks, but I ain't a dog so I have never understood that phrase. Plus, in dog years, I think that I'm only like four years-old, so I still have plenty of time to change.

Jerry: Enough, Wade, our fans want to know what changes you are going to make.

Wade: In 2009, I'm going to be a different man. I'm switching from a box of powdered donuts for my morning breakfast to a box of glazed donuts. You see Jerry, I would get powdered-sugar all over my play-sheets and that led to several in-game mistakes. Remember when we ran the option against the Ravens at the most critical point of our season?

Jerry: Unfortunately, I do.

Wade: That was actually supposed to be "option #2" which would have been a quarterback sneak. But the powdered-sugar covered the "#2" part of the play-sheet...so I figured that the genius, that's what I call Jason, must have designed a new option play. It didn't work, but it sure was fun to watch...wasn't it Jerry?

Jerry: No, it wasn't. Actually, I can't think of many things that were fun to watch this year. I can't do this anymore right now. Mike Shannahan is in town and we are meeting for lunch. We can resume this next week.