Why don't you like Magic?
No, I’m not talking about the creepy type of magic that you see a pizza-delivery-guy/magician/clown do at a 4-year-old’s birthday party; I’m talking about the Orlando Magic. There is zero hype around this year’s NBA Finals. Seriously, it has drawn slightly more attention than a Petty Theft concert.
I just don’t know why. The Lakers obviously own a huge following – Lakers’ “fans” come out of the woodwork this time of year. Suddenly your coworker is wearing a Kobe jersey and has “always been a Lakers fan.” Los Angeles has a storied history and Kobe is one of the best players in the league – so I get why they would attract otherwise neutral fans.
But why don’t people like this Orlando team? Dwight Howard is one of the most talented and charismatic players in the game. He entertains during the dunk-contest, he plays hard, he doesn’t get into off-the-court trouble…he is the type of superstar that you want on your team. But for some reason, people don't connect with him and I’m not sure why.
When the Spurs were putting everyone to sleep during their championship runs, I could fully understand and appreciate why no one outside of San Antonio cared. They were simply boring all the way around. Their coach was boring; their superstar was boring; their style of play was boring. Like hockey and soccer – I get why people aren’t interested (ie…it’s really boring).
Orlando is the complete opposite. Porn-Stache - I mean Stan Van Gundy - is a pretty funny coach, whether it’s intentional or not. Dwight Howard has 15-minute conversations with Jack Nicholson before games in LA. Orlando runs up and down the court and shoots a ton of 3’s. They should be the team that neutral fans gravitate to, but I honestly can’t remember a Finals series that has had less appeal for the average sports fan.
Even the Spurs and Ben-Stein-Duncan had more appeal – even if it was people tuning in simply to root against them. Why aren’t the Lakers looked at as villains – and in turn – Orlando as the saviors? Why aren’t people taking an interest in rooting against Kobe? He is an easy guy to dislike.
After thinking about this for a while, I developed an explanation that I call the “Ruined Dream Theory.” Basically, it states that all neutral fans want to see the two best and most interesting teams match up in the championship game. Celtics-Lakers. Cowboys-Steelers. Yankees-Cubs. This year, all fans - in addition to the NBA Commissioner – wanted a Lebron-Kobe finale. During the Orlando-Cleveland series, everyone not living in Orlando was pulling for the fighting Lebrons to pull out a series win leading to the dream match-up in the Finals. Orlando needed to lose for this to happen...so people began to root against them.
In a way, I believe that fans have turned on Orlando because the Magic inadvertently ruined this NBA season. All year, everyone has talked about how great it would be to see King James face off against Kobe - but the dream has been ruined and Orlando is to blame.
Actually, the more I think about it, the more I am beginning to hate Orlando. Kobe vs. James? It doesn’t get better than that…and it was all flushed down the drain by the stupid Orlando Magic.
Based on this newly found theory – please join me in boycotting the remaining Finals’ games. If the viewer-ship remains low, Commissioner David Stern will be forced to, once again, resort to “fixing” the NBA Playoffs…and we will all be better off for it.
Showing posts with label Miscellaneous. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Miscellaneous. Show all posts
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Great Injustice
This week on 105.3 The FAN, Ben and Skin will be discussing the "Top 5 Injustices" that have occurred within our lifetime. Well, it may not be that extensive, but the week will revolve around injustices that have taken place within the world of sports, pop culture, the media, etc...
In preparation, my "Fab 5" are as follows:
5. Paul Blart - Mall Cop
• Ranked as the #1, box-office movie for more than 2 weeks in a row
• Seriously – I don’t care if it was January in a “slow” movie time or not, Paul F’n Blart making $147+ million has convinced me that the apocalypse is near!
4. Nebraska playing in the BCS Championship in 2001…Nebraska:
• didn’t win its conference…
• was ranked 4th in the nation
• somehow jumped Colorado - a team that they were beaten by during the season – only to get destroyed by Miami
3. Paris Hilton
• Nothing specific – just the fact that we all know who she is
• Paris is famous…because she is famous? She has now joined forces with Paul Blart in nearly forcing me to take my own life
2. Arrested Development getting canceled while:
• My Name is Earl and Survivor continue to dull America with mundane ideas
1. Puck being kicked off Real World San Francisco
• Puck was probably the best reality character in the history of reality tv. The guy was funny, entertaining and simply had no filter. The peanut-butter scene will live in infamy. Yes, he was stupid, but this was before it was “cool” to be stupid. He was original.
1a. Larry the Cable Guy making $30+ million in 2008
• Seriously – the “Cable Guy” is a character – but his audience is too ignorant to realize it
• He tried legit stand-up as himself (Dan Whitney) – and it failed. Instead, he created a stupid, unoriginal simpleton character to appeal to idiocy...and it freakin worked!
• Larry the Cable Guy is making millions and guys like Bill Hicks were forced to be “cult icons,” because the “majority” can’t handle anything that actually has substance.
• "Get-R-Done" is Latin for "The End is Near."
In preparation, my "Fab 5" are as follows:
5. Paul Blart - Mall Cop
• Ranked as the #1, box-office movie for more than 2 weeks in a row
• Seriously – I don’t care if it was January in a “slow” movie time or not, Paul F’n Blart making $147+ million has convinced me that the apocalypse is near!
4. Nebraska playing in the BCS Championship in 2001…Nebraska:
• didn’t win its conference…
• was ranked 4th in the nation
• somehow jumped Colorado - a team that they were beaten by during the season – only to get destroyed by Miami
3. Paris Hilton
• Nothing specific – just the fact that we all know who she is
• Paris is famous…because she is famous? She has now joined forces with Paul Blart in nearly forcing me to take my own life
2. Arrested Development getting canceled while:
• My Name is Earl and Survivor continue to dull America with mundane ideas
1. Puck being kicked off Real World San Francisco
• Puck was probably the best reality character in the history of reality tv. The guy was funny, entertaining and simply had no filter. The peanut-butter scene will live in infamy. Yes, he was stupid, but this was before it was “cool” to be stupid. He was original.
1a. Larry the Cable Guy making $30+ million in 2008
• Seriously – the “Cable Guy” is a character – but his audience is too ignorant to realize it
• He tried legit stand-up as himself (Dan Whitney) – and it failed. Instead, he created a stupid, unoriginal simpleton character to appeal to idiocy...and it freakin worked!
• Larry the Cable Guy is making millions and guys like Bill Hicks were forced to be “cult icons,” because the “majority” can’t handle anything that actually has substance.
• "Get-R-Done" is Latin for "The End is Near."
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Absolutely Disgusting
Ryan Moats, a Houston Texans' running back and former Bishop Lynch student, was involved in a police altercation last week. The Dallas Morning News reports that Moats, while taking his family to see a dying relative in a Plano hospital, rolled through a red light and was besieged by a police officer. Here is an excerpt from the story (full story here):
It gets even worse:
Even another officer's plea would not stop Powell:
And the most tragic finale:
Absolutely disgusting. What else can be said?
Moats turned on his hazard lights. He stopped at a red light, where, he said, the only nearby motorist signaled for him to go ahead. He went through.
[Officer] Powell, watching traffic from a hidden spot, flipped on his lights and sirens. In less than a minute, he caught up to the SUV and followed for about 20 more seconds as Moats found a parking spot outside the emergency room.
Moats' wife, 27-year-old Tamishia, was the first out. Powell yelled at her to get back in.
"Get in there!" he yelled. "Let me see your hands!"
"My mom is dying," she explained.
Powell was undeterred.
Tamishia Moats and her great-aunt ignored the officer and headed into the hospital. Ryan Moats stayed behind with the father of the dying woman.
It gets even worse:
Powell demanded his license and proof of insurance. Moats produced his license but said he didn't know where the insurance paperwork was.
"Just give me a ticket or whatever," he said, beginning to sound exasperated and a little argumentative.
"Shut your mouth," Powell told him. "You can cooperate and settle down, or I can just take you to jail for running a red light."
"All I'm asking you is just to hurry up." ...
"Understand what I can do," Powell concluded. "I can tow your truck. I can charge you with fleeing. I can make your night very difficult."
Even another officer's plea would not stop Powell:
"Hey, that's the nurse," the Plano officer told Powell. "She said that the mom's dying right now, and she's wanting to know if they can get him up there before she dies."
"All right," Powell replied. "I'm almost done."
As Moats signed the ticket, Powell continued his lecture.
"Attitude's everything," he said. "All you had to do is stop, tell me what was going on. More than likely, I would have let you go."
It had been about 13 minutes.
And the most tragic finale:
Moats and Collinsworth's father went into the hospital, where they found Collinsworth had died, with her daughter at her side.
Absolutely disgusting. What else can be said?
Monday, February 2, 2009
Super Bowl 43: Two Life-Changing Minutes
Two Life-Changing Minutes
2:30 left in the game...
Cardinals lead 23-20...
Pittsburgh faces 1st-and-20 on their own 12-yard-line...
...we all know what happened next. The Steelers marched down the field, scored the winning touchdown and the rest is history. Literally.
But more than anytime in my recent Super Bowl memory did this two minutes affect the legacy of so many different players, groups and organizations. You can never single out one specific play or one series that "won" or "lost" a game, but what if the last two minutes of Super Bowl 43 had gone a little differently?
Travel back to the 4th quarter. Pittsburgh had just been penalized for holding, backing them up to their own 12-yard-line. At this time, there were more game storylines than halftime analysts, and that is saying quite a bit:
1. "He can't win the big one!"
Roethlisberger was two minutes away from being labeled a Super Bowl choke-artist. I know that sounds odd, considering the fact that Big Ben has won more games at this point in his career than any other quarterback, but think back to Super Bowl 40: Roethlisberger was 9-21 for 123 yards, 0 touchdowns and 2 interceptions. Luckily for him, his defense and running game sealed the Steelers' victory and made Ben's struggles a back-story.
At the 2:30 mark in the 4th quarter against the Cardinals, Roethlisberger was 16-23 for 172 yards. He had thrown no touchdowns and one interception. Had Pittsburgh not converted the 1st-and-20 from their own 12, Roethlisberger would have faced Tony Romo-esque questioning after the game:
"Ben, why can't you play well in the Super Bowl?"
Sports-talk would have followed with, "Is Roethlisberger truly a 'big-game' quarterback? He has thrown three interceptions and no touchdown during his two Super Bowl appearances. Without a great defense, is he that good?"
Yep, Ben was two minutes away from being labeled as the "guy who can't show up when it matters."
2. By Steel Curtain, do you mean Satin?
The lauded Pittsburgh Steelers defense, the #1-ranked unit in the NFL, failed when it counted most. Outside of James Harrison's amazing interception return for a touchdown, the Cardinals abused the Pittsburgh defense.
At this point in the game, the "Steel Curtain" had allowed Warner to complete 70% of his passes while throwing for 344 yards and 3 touchdowns. The Steelers allowed 407 yards of offense and had tallied just one sack. They blew a 13-point, 4th-quarter lead by giving up 233 yards and 14 points...in the 4th quarter alone! They were two minutes away from dropping the "Steel Curtain" label and adding the "defense-that-allowed-the-largest-comeback-in-Super-Bowl-history" moniker.
3. Riding off into the sunset
Kurt Warner's story remains amazing. Going from grocery sacker to NFL MVP to Super Bowl Champion...that's stuff that legends are made of. Leading the Arizona Cardinals to a Super Bowl victory against the Steelers - that might have made him immortal.
Conversations swirled around the sportsworld this week assessing whether Warner should be considered a Hall of Fame player. As odd as it sounds, many agreed that he was "in-with-a-win" but "out-with-a-loss."
At the 2:00 mark, Warner had completed 29 of 41 passes for 344 yards. He had thrown three touchdowns and only one interception. In other words, Warner had treated the league's best defense like Joe and Doug treated "Squeeks" in Baseketball. He slapped them around. With just under three minutes left, Warner connected on a 64-yard-touchdown pass to Larry Fitzgerald to complete the comeback.
If the Cardinals had pulled it out, Warner probably wins his second Super Bowl MVP along with his second Championship. He now holds three of the top-five passing yard totals in Super Bowl history. Warner's postseason record would have jumped to 9-2, meaning that his playoff winning percentage (.818) would have superceded that of Aikman, Bradshaw and Montana. Kurt Warner was two minutes away from riding off into the sunset as the most clutch quarterback in NFL history.
4. Can't Take It Away
The Arizona Cardinals franchise has been a punch-line for years. Other than the Detroit Lions, the Cardinals have been the easiest layup on most NFL team schedules. Until this year.
While the Cardinals still earned signficant respect by putting together an impropable playoff run, nothing builds credibility like a Super Bowl Trophy. The Cardinals overcame a 100-yard-interception for a touchdown. They overcame facing the #1 NFL defense. They battled for most of the game without getting any production from their star wide-receiver, Larry Fitzgerald. Arizona has been a franchise that folds before the game starts, but on this evening, they refused to quit.
The Cardinals were two minutes away from earning a label that cannot be taken away: 2008 NFL Champions.
Finale
There are limitless angles and infinate storylines describing this game. It may be months, years or even decades before we fully understand the rammifications of the last two minutes in Super Bowl 43.
2:30 left in the game...
Cardinals lead 23-20...
Pittsburgh faces 1st-and-20 on their own 12-yard-line...
...we all know what happened next. The Steelers marched down the field, scored the winning touchdown and the rest is history. Literally.
But more than anytime in my recent Super Bowl memory did this two minutes affect the legacy of so many different players, groups and organizations. You can never single out one specific play or one series that "won" or "lost" a game, but what if the last two minutes of Super Bowl 43 had gone a little differently?
Travel back to the 4th quarter. Pittsburgh had just been penalized for holding, backing them up to their own 12-yard-line. At this time, there were more game storylines than halftime analysts, and that is saying quite a bit:
1. "He can't win the big one!"
Roethlisberger was two minutes away from being labeled a Super Bowl choke-artist. I know that sounds odd, considering the fact that Big Ben has won more games at this point in his career than any other quarterback, but think back to Super Bowl 40: Roethlisberger was 9-21 for 123 yards, 0 touchdowns and 2 interceptions. Luckily for him, his defense and running game sealed the Steelers' victory and made Ben's struggles a back-story.
At the 2:30 mark in the 4th quarter against the Cardinals, Roethlisberger was 16-23 for 172 yards. He had thrown no touchdowns and one interception. Had Pittsburgh not converted the 1st-and-20 from their own 12, Roethlisberger would have faced Tony Romo-esque questioning after the game:
"Ben, why can't you play well in the Super Bowl?"
Sports-talk would have followed with, "Is Roethlisberger truly a 'big-game' quarterback? He has thrown three interceptions and no touchdown during his two Super Bowl appearances. Without a great defense, is he that good?"
Yep, Ben was two minutes away from being labeled as the "guy who can't show up when it matters."
2. By Steel Curtain, do you mean Satin?
The lauded Pittsburgh Steelers defense, the #1-ranked unit in the NFL, failed when it counted most. Outside of James Harrison's amazing interception return for a touchdown, the Cardinals abused the Pittsburgh defense.
At this point in the game, the "Steel Curtain" had allowed Warner to complete 70% of his passes while throwing for 344 yards and 3 touchdowns. The Steelers allowed 407 yards of offense and had tallied just one sack. They blew a 13-point, 4th-quarter lead by giving up 233 yards and 14 points...in the 4th quarter alone! They were two minutes away from dropping the "Steel Curtain" label and adding the "defense-that-allowed-the-largest-comeback-in-Super-Bowl-history" moniker.
3. Riding off into the sunset
Kurt Warner's story remains amazing. Going from grocery sacker to NFL MVP to Super Bowl Champion...that's stuff that legends are made of. Leading the Arizona Cardinals to a Super Bowl victory against the Steelers - that might have made him immortal.
Conversations swirled around the sportsworld this week assessing whether Warner should be considered a Hall of Fame player. As odd as it sounds, many agreed that he was "in-with-a-win" but "out-with-a-loss."
At the 2:00 mark, Warner had completed 29 of 41 passes for 344 yards. He had thrown three touchdowns and only one interception. In other words, Warner had treated the league's best defense like Joe and Doug treated "Squeeks" in Baseketball. He slapped them around. With just under three minutes left, Warner connected on a 64-yard-touchdown pass to Larry Fitzgerald to complete the comeback.
If the Cardinals had pulled it out, Warner probably wins his second Super Bowl MVP along with his second Championship. He now holds three of the top-five passing yard totals in Super Bowl history. Warner's postseason record would have jumped to 9-2, meaning that his playoff winning percentage (.818) would have superceded that of Aikman, Bradshaw and Montana. Kurt Warner was two minutes away from riding off into the sunset as the most clutch quarterback in NFL history.
4. Can't Take It Away
The Arizona Cardinals franchise has been a punch-line for years. Other than the Detroit Lions, the Cardinals have been the easiest layup on most NFL team schedules. Until this year.
While the Cardinals still earned signficant respect by putting together an impropable playoff run, nothing builds credibility like a Super Bowl Trophy. The Cardinals overcame a 100-yard-interception for a touchdown. They overcame facing the #1 NFL defense. They battled for most of the game without getting any production from their star wide-receiver, Larry Fitzgerald. Arizona has been a franchise that folds before the game starts, but on this evening, they refused to quit.
The Cardinals were two minutes away from earning a label that cannot be taken away: 2008 NFL Champions.
Finale
There are limitless angles and infinate storylines describing this game. It may be months, years or even decades before we fully understand the rammifications of the last two minutes in Super Bowl 43.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Bienvenidos!
Welcome to the Dallas Sports Keg.
Basically, we have dedicated this blog to comedic (attempted) coverage of the Dallas Sports world. I know, with Pacman and his 230 arrests, Mark Cuban's Martha-Stewart-like SEC situation and Jerr-uh Jones, this stuff basically writes itself; however, we thought it might be worth documenting.
Regards,
Guy
Basically, we have dedicated this blog to comedic (attempted) coverage of the Dallas Sports world. I know, with Pacman and his 230 arrests, Mark Cuban's Martha-Stewart-like SEC situation and Jerr-uh Jones, this stuff basically writes itself; however, we thought it might be worth documenting.
Regards,
Guy
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